Look At me Now, I'm getting Paper MARIO – A Ghetto Paper Mario FanFic
by NatsNeverland
Summary: Mario must become a trap lord if he wants to stop Bowser and save his thot.
1. Introduction

**{ a/n: Ello! This is my first fanfiction on this site and hopefully I'd have made a good impression. My fanfiction is about Paper Mario, if they were in the ghetto. You can hate me, but hopefully I make most of you guys laugh your asses off. Credit to bahrmour, and everyone else on Twitter for helping me make this possible. Might contain offensive material. LEGGO }**

Once upon a time, the world was fucking peaceful. If you would even call it that.

"Settle down, lil' crackas," A Lakitu said to a crowd of star kids, who were ready to ascend to Star Haven, but NOT QUITE. "Before y'all go up with the seven trap lords, it's time ya hear a little story." The star kids gathered around him in interest, hoping the tale concerned the background of this mystical Haven. "I'ma tell you the story of Trap Lords and the thing they've cared for since the Dawn of the Thugs began. – The Trap Rod." The Lakitu floated into the sanctuary, the Trap Lords surrounding them as the kids followed in delight. "The Trap Lords are always guardin' it, peepin' over it nicely. Veeery nicely... And then...-"

Just as the Lakitu was getting to the good part, a Magikoopa had flown into the sanctuary, laughing her laugh. "Ayo... bruh.. Who's the thot?" The Lakitu asked YOUNG CHILDREN, AS IF THEY HAD A CLUE WHAT A THOT WAS. "You think you the shit, you goat-bibbed, wurmple-licker..." Glared Kammy Koopa, said Magikoopa who had a remarkably 'thotty' appearance. "MAKE WAY FOR YA NEW TRAP KING, BOWSER!"

"TIME TO FUCK UP THE ITALIAN NIGGA!" Bowser flew into the scene on his pimpin' airship. 'Fuck the Police' was on full blast, which was Kammy's cue to use magic to temporarily intoxicate the Seven Trap Lords with an acid-inducing spell. They all got high and felt like they were whisked away to another dimension, as Bowser took ahold of the Trap Rod. While they were still deep in the trance, Bowser used the magic of the rod to turn them all into trap cards.

"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITCHU?!" The Lakitu exclaimed beyond the crowd of kids. Back in his home land, the Lakitu was usually the one to scream "WORLD STAR" in his group of friends. So you know when the guy who screams "WORLD STAR" is freaked out, there's a problem.

As Bowser and Kammy made a break for it, the Lakitu dragged the kids away. One stayed though. He flew through and upward the Haven, in hopes to save the Seven Trap Lords, and maybe even become one of them.


	2. Introduction II (SORRY XD)

Meanwhile, back at Mario's house, a letter had just arrived. "You got some bullshit!" Exclaimed Parakarry, flying away. He was the postman livin' the thug life, just tryna get some bandz. If he had a different job, bandz would have made him dance.

Luigi, Mario's brother, who does infamous mushrooms his brother doesn't know about, has finally stopped digging his nose into that LSD crap, and took a few letters out of the mailbox, looking through them. "Bills, bills, hoe tellin' me to pay child support, bills..." He eventually saw the next letter, which was from the princess, and scurried into the house.

"MAAARIOOOO!" Luigi held the letter in excitement, as his brother looked over the table. "WE GOT A LETTER FROM PRINCESS PEACH, BRUH! YOU THINK SHE WANTS TO SMASH?" He threw the letter in Mario's face, as he began to open it up. "Let's find out." Mario straightened out the paper, beginning to read:

 _"Dear Mario, I'm having a party at my castle today! Guests from all over the world have come to see me, and did I mention there are sweets? It's going to be absolutely MARVELOUS!"_

Mario yawned as he read this. His face lit up when he read the last part though:

 _"Nobody's in the private quarters. My paren'ts ain't home either. Better hurry, boo!"_ She lied to get him there.

The typical background music plays as him, and Luigi, 'gentlemanly' make their way to the castle. – They ran. Oh boy, Mario was gonna get some pussy! They went inside. "You go get that pussy, b," Luigi's eyes shifted as he walked into the kitchen. "I have some shit to take care of." And that's exactly what Mario did. He ran right up to the princess' private quarters in hopes to get that pussy. "Peach? Where you at?"

"Oh Mario! You've come just in time!" The princess squealed in delight. They ran to each other like in the movies. Just as they were about to hug, Peach stopped in her place. "Hold up, lemme adjust my stuffing..." She said as she adjusted her bra, which was filled with toilet paper stuffed into her bust to make it look bigger. Peach was a real hood bitch, I guess.

Both jumped as an eruption began to occur. The castle was uprooted up into the sky! But how? Bowser's trap house had sufaced under the castle's spot in the ground. "...Sorry." Blushed Mario. He was such a dumbass he thought his fart set off an earthquake. Peach looked out at the window. "Night time already?" She asked. "I was suppose to get drugs before 9 o' clock..."

Mario quickly pulled Peach away from the window, as Bowser crashed through it. He successfully protected his (future) thot. He remained behind her as Bowser got off his airship, staring at dat ass.

"I'm ready to get some pussy," he stomped onto the ground. "Peach, bae, guess what? I'm a Trap Lord now. Ya dig?" Bowser asked as he walked towards her. Before Peach could respond to Bowser's question, Mario bursted through, in front of her.

"You ain't smashing on my watch." Mario growled. He was so angry. He almost got a chance to smash Peach, and Bowser will NOT ruin his chance. Or will he?

"I've seen this part before. You never got to smash anyways, but THIS TIME, I do! Ready to square up, ya son of a squally?" Bowser slurred.

"You bet. I'M READY TO RECLAIM MY GAME. And I'm not talkin' about the game title."

 _ **GET READY TO SQUARE UP!**_

The first battle eventually began. The battle music was "Bow Down" by Westside Connection.

 **Mario used jump! 1 HP was taken.**

 **Bowser used Weave Flip! Bowser bent over and slapped Mario with his hair! Or was it a weave? We may never know. 1 HP was taken.**

 **Mario jumped on him again! So much for storymode abilities.**

"IT'S TIME TO FUCK YOU UP!" Exclaimed Bowser, whipping out a certain wand. "See this? This is the Trap Rod! I stole it from Star Haven... FUCK WIT' ME NOW."

 **Bowser harnesses the power of the Trap Rod and a multicolored shield surrounded his body. He was also wearing those pixel glasses.. Whatever they're called. This caused the battle music to change to "Get out the way".**

 **Bowser uses Weave Flip again! This time, 4 heart points were taken away!**

 **Mario was in peril. He tries to jump on him, but sadly no effect.**

"I can't jump on him!" Mario exclaimed, but turned to Peach. "I promise... I'll get through this so I can smash..."

"Sorry," Peach said, making a pokerface at Mario. "I only date Trap Lords."

Mario's jaw dropped onto the floor.

 **As Mario is distracted, Bowser uses NASTY BREATH! He exhales in Mario's direction. 8 DAMAGE! SUPER EFFECTIVE! ... Man, Bowser really has nasty breath. Mario passed out.**

 _ **END OF BATTLE!**_

Bowser then used the Trap Rod to send Mario flying, out the broken window.


End file.
